Look there! The furniture’s covered with it,
Soft hair, starkly white like a spider’s trap,
Spreading out across the unwary lap,
Of any dark-clothed person who dares sit.
If you enter here then you must submit,
To being treated like a bumbling sap,
By the arrogant and powerful cat,
Whose fur is now part of your sweater’s knit.
But never fear, we are prepared for this –
We’re ready to wage sanitary war,
To stop your sneezes and watery eyes.
Before you leave, be sure you do not miss,
The lint roller placed just beside the door,
To cleanse you before you say your goodbyes.
Every shovelful made my secret safer.
My roommate, Christina, gave me the idea for this story.
I don’t know why anyone would want to leave Liberty. Heck, nobody leaves Liberty!
We have everything we need here. There’s just enough farmland to grow food for the town. We have a cute little main street with a pharmacy, general store, and courthouse. We haven’t had a post office for a while, but it hasn’t been too much of a bother. And there are always enough parking spaces!
The school is so small that all the children get enough attention from the teacher. And each family has the perfect home assigned to them after they’re married. Before that, they live with their parents, of course. People are old fashioned here in Liberty and still marry pretty young. Not like people on the outside, waiting until they’re almost thirty! And there are no divorces here.
Everyone does their part in Liberty. Whatever job needs to be done is assigned to the perfect person to do it, and that’s how we keep the harmony in our town. We have a very low crime rate here.
So I don’t know why anyone would want to leave. When you’re selected to live in Liberty, you’re selected to live in the perfect community.
There’s only one road that goes through our town. Just two lanes, straight through the middle. And we control both ends. We don’t allow many strangers into Liberty, and chances are, if we let you in, we won’t be too keen to let you out again. Everybody has a purpose here.
So I don’t know why you would want to leave. Maybe if you’ll just stay here a little longer you’ll see that you’re wrong. Nobody leaves Liberty.
So I’m leaving in about half an hour to take the GRE. The testing center just called to say they could see me as early as 11:00AM, which is nice because I’m scheduled for 1:00PM. Since I might be there for as long as five hours, I’m happy to go in a little earlier. I’m very nervous and can’t think of what to write, and I have a lot going on after the test (vis a vis alcohol), so I thought I’d share the playlist I made to pump myself up on my way down to the testing center.
1. Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen
2. Moral of the Story – Watsky
3. Queen Bitch – David Bowie
4. No Scrubs – TLC
5. Whoa Whoa Whoa – Watsky
6. Smile – Lily Allen
7. 0 to 100 – Drake
8. Rap God – Eminem
9. Sing – Ed Sheeran
10. No Diggity – Blackstreet ft. Dr. Dre, Queen Pen
11. The Mariner’s Revenge Song – The Decemberists
It’s a little all over the place, but I’m feeling a little all over the place.
Wish me luck.
The Supreme Court’s decision today is incredible. I’m blown away by the strides LGBTQ rights have taken in my lifetime. And what’s truly amazing today is the outpouring of love I’m seeing and hearing from my friends and family. Nobody is wasting their energy on trying to tear anybody down, nobody even seems to be making “take that, neener neener neener” comments. All the people close to me are just so, so happy. And I am too.
We still have a long way to go before all people are actually treated equal. There’s been so much hate and violence in the news recently that it’s easy to get depressed and think that things in this country will never get better. But as President Obama said in his address today: “We’ve made our union a little more perfect.”
This silly vine from Ian McKellen and Derek Jacobi pretty much sums up how I feel about today:
Now go hug someone you love.
Prompt: Write everything that comes into your head about the word ‘streetlight’ for exactly one minute.
Someone told me once that if you’re standing under a streetlight and it goes out, someone is thinking of you. I always thought that was a nice idea.
When you drive in the rain at night, the streetlights seem to smear on your windshield.
Once in middle school a boy I knew climbed almost all the way up the streetlight in front of my mom’s house. He didn’t fall, but I was afraid he would.
Note – my posts for the next few days will be short because I’m writing them on my lunch breaks. I’m using my evenings to study for the GRE, which I’m taking on Saturday. Hopefully my posts will be more interesting after that. Geometry is taking up a lot of space in my brain at the moment. – LJ
I recently encountered a person who walked out of a chain sandwich store because of their cheese selection, so I decided to imagine what would happen if she went to Trader Joe’s and found the cheese selection lacking.
Excuse me? Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I was just over in your dairy section and I happened to notice you’re out of goat cheese. And I just think that’s a little ridiculous. I mean, part of the reason I frequent your establishment is because of the cheese selection. And you’re out of goat cheese? This is a well-known grocery store and you’re out of goat cheese. I could buy some expensive, imported, smelly French cheese that will go bad after three days, but I don’t want that. I want some goddamned goat cheese to spread on crackers because I am an American and I have rights! I have the right to walk into the grocery store of my choice and buy goat cheese!
I mean, come on, I’m not asking for anything spectacular here. I’m just asking for your employees to do their jobs and keep the shelves stocked with the essentials. You have plenty of milk. You have plenty of bread. So how in the world is the goat cheese shelf empty?! There is Camembert next to it and plenty of Roquefort, but somehow I am leaving empty-handed. This is unacceptable! And no, I don’t want a store gift card. I’m never coming back here again – I could not set foot in a store with such negligible standards.
So this is Obama’s America. Disgusting.