I can’t tell you how much it pains me to write this letter. But I’ve finally reached the point where I can’t be around you any longer. We’ve had many good years together and gone through many struggles, but the way you hurt me has become too much.
I spend too much money on you, constantly throwing dollars at you because you make me happy. And all I get in return are shaking hands and yellow teeth.
So it’s over, Coffee. I’m with Tea now. Although, I must say, I dream of the day when I am finally strong enough to get by without either one of you in my life.
Today is the day I quit you, Coffee. Goodbye.